the past few months has been--as I said before--one of the most challenging periods of my martial arts career to date. doubts lurking around every corner; frustration rearing its ugly head. while I never considered quiting, my heart was clouded and my mind was frayed.
currently, i feel... well... better. while i'm not tooting rainbows and doing back flips for no reason, my mind has reset itself and I have been enjoying my training once again. do i feel further tempered and believe i've had a philosophic expansion as a result of my struggles? time will tell. does it feel nice to be back on track?
indeed.
part of my imbalance, as I mentioned previously, had a lot to do with a lack of harmony between kata and technique. this was perhaps a result of a grading i was undergoing, where my kata was in worse shape than my technique and needed to be improved upon. grading gives me great ambivalence, but i will save those thoughts for another day.
in the mean time, while I cannot say exactly what is around the corner, i know now that at least i am turning one.
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Good for you! :)
ReplyDeleteThe key is the '...I never considered quitting..."
ReplyDeleteMany a person will quit going through what you have. Knowing martial arts will remain a part of your life and who you are can allow you to survive the ups and downs, and even back off training if need be.
I hope you enjoy what's around the bend...
Doubt is how you know you're actually doing it properly. You have to practice, have an unsatisfied mind and keep asking yourself a very simple question: if you were the attacked by yourself from the future, who had 10 years more experience than you and knew all your moves, would you stand a chance? Every time I feel frustration with kata or classmates or sensei, I go back to that foundation - am I a little better prepared to face someone I couldn't beat. If you answer no, ask yourself why. If you answered yes, keep doing it.
ReplyDeleteBest of luck.